Mila Sexual Wellness Self Pleasure as Self Care

Self-Pleasure as Self-Care

By Valarie Merced, LMHC, CSC
1 NOVEMBER 2025

Did you know that 43.5% of women haven’t masturbated in the past year? Not because of shame or disinterest in sex altogether – but simply because they “just weren’t interested” (Herbenick et al., 2022) 

But here’s the question: What if self-pleasure isn’t just a sexual act, but an essential form of self-care? What if we could reframe it as an invitation to connect with ourselves – body, mind, and soul? Would there be as many women who “just weren’t interested”?  

Bubble Baths Are Cute, But Have You Tried an Orgasm?

When we think of self-care, the classics come to mind: long baths, journaling, naps, or binging a comfort show after a long day. Lovely, yes – but a little incomplete.

Self-pleasure deserves a spot on that self-care shelf, right next to lavender candles and sheet masks. Unlike a face mask, this ritual doesn’t just soothe the surface; it goes deep, offering intimacy, empowerment, and joy that only you can create for yourself.

Your Orgasm Is Basically a Multivitamin

So, why all the fuss? Because pleasure isn’t frivolous–it’s medicine.

Physical perks:

  • Stress relief: Orgasms lower cortisol and bring the body into relaxation mode.

  • Happy hormones: Masturbation floods you with dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins–the brain’s natural mood boosters.

  • Sleep: Nothing tucks you into bed like a blissed-out nervous system.

  • Brain benefits: Research shows it can sharpen focus and even protect your mind from the effects of stress.

  • Sexual health: Increased blood flow and tissue massage keep your vulva vibrant and healthy into old age. Pleasure, in other words, is timeless (Komisaruk, 2006).

Confidence, Served with a Side of Pleasure

The physical benefits are profound, but the emotional ones are even juicier.

Self-pleasure is a mirror–reflecting confidence, self-love, and power back at you. When you learn what turns you on and lights you up, you claim your body’s story. You nurture self-awareness, discover boundaries, honor your needs, and find safe ways to process complicated emotions.

Most of all, self-pleasure helps melt shame and rewrite the script. Eroticism is a form of embodiment. Instead of hiding your desire, you get to celebrate it, say yes to yourself, and practice radical self-acceptance. That’s empowerment in its sexiest form.

Bye-Bye Shame, Hello Glow

Of course, many of us grew up steeped in myths and stigma. Cultural, religious, and societal whispers told us that masturbation – especially for women – was wrong, dirty, or selfish.

Here’s the truth: self-pleasure is natural, healthy, and profoundly human. It isn’t about replacing intimacy with others – it’s about deepening intimacy with yourself. In fact, this deeply personal self-knowledge can enhance pleasure with a partner! Win-win!

So how do you reframe the fear? By remembering that pleasure is not indulgence, but nourishment. It’s your birthright. Every orgasm, every caress, every sigh is a reclamation of joy and autonomy. It’s an opportunity to be reintroduced to yourself over and over and over again.

Rituals, Not Routines

If self-pleasure feels like an awkward chore rather than a sacred ritual, try dressing it up:

  • Light a candle, burn some incense, or play music that makes your hips want to sway.

  • Start with touch that isn’t about rushing to climax. Caress your skin, experiment with pressure, trace the map of your body like you’re discovering hidden treasure.

  • Bring mindfulness into it: notice your breath, stay present with your sensations, and treat the moment as a meditation in pleasure.

  • Remember, this is the time to discover the unique calls and responses of your body.  

Pleasure Accessories, Tools, and Treasures

And if pleasure accessories call your name? Explore! Vibrators, air-pulse toys, sleek insertables–there’s a buffet of options waiting. Find what excites you and add it to your routine. Meet Aura by Mila, the first 4-in-1 pleasure accessory that feels as good as it looks & created with women’s pleasure in mind.

Think of them not as shortcuts, but as delightful collaborators in your self-care journey.

Pleasure Is a Revolution

We live in a world that often feels chaotic – polarized, violent, exhausting. In such times, carving out space for self-care isn’t frivolous; it’s essential. And self-pleasure? That’s the most radical self-care of all.

It’s a defiant act of autonomy. A soft rebellion against shame. And most importantly, a tender love letter to yourself.

So go ahead – be curious. Explore. Touch. Delight. Your body is waiting to remind you that pleasure isn’t selfish – it’s sacred.

Source

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9794105/

Komisaruk, B. (2006). The science of orgasm. In Johns Hopkins University Press eBooks. https://doi.org/10.56021/9780801884900